am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
