If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
