How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
