the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
