More tranny stories later!
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
