The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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