apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
