You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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