Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
