Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
