The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
