My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
