Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
