Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
