I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
