One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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