You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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