Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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