this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
