btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize