I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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