Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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