doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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