Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
