I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
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