Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
