Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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