guys are not supposed to queef...right?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
