I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
