Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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