All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
