I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
