whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
