Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
