O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
