we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
MIDGETS
????
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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