Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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