I got chris browned last night
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
should my penis look like a turkey
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
