it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
