bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
