matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
