break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
