He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
