I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
