you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
