I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
