I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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