is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
