Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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