you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
