am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
