my mouth tastes like poor choices
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
