If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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