i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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