doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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