did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
