How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize