im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
and she was petting her beer can
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Randomize
