he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
