only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
