my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
