She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
