spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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