easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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