so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
